Have you visualised those scenes that you were in without yourself...

Not too sure why and when this thought sneaked into my subconscious and started boiling up time and again over the last 24 hours, maybe it was there for ever, just was not time yet for it to... This is the 40th year of my existence and there was this discussion of mid-life crisis brought up on numerous occassions by quite a few near and dear faces, all to end up with me going blah blah blah again...
Every person on any given day get insecure at what happens to him, the words that flow around him, the smells, the thoughts, the references, the arguments...and that triggers abnormal behavioural patterns in him/her, one which makes him do crazy things (crazy 'cos he/she is not known to do it), those things that he/she feel will make him/her get over those unpleasant/insecure entities around him...and friends, that is the mid life crisis for me. The very fact that we die every evening into the unknown of our sleep to be born again with the rising sun again with another day, another life...Yes every day is life for us...and mid-life crisis can be any time over any given day, atleast for me!!! Another digression from the core topic...What did I start with...YES your imagination taking yourself off those scenes that you have lived through...Amazing thought isn't it...your words, action, arguments, body language, cynicism, sarcasm, arrogance...the profound impact that it has on others, the indelible marks that it leave on others' lives, your absence just takes that all all off the entire equation, the whole dynamics of that moment gets rewritten into something sometimes pleasant and sometimes unpleasant. If you look at it from a median, can we really gauge what the spread would be!!! Would it be towards the better of the people around you, would they be better off without you, would they be happier...atleast for a few around me, I can easily confirm that it does make a huge difference. It is a sad feeling an amazingly annoying truth that at times make you realign your priorities, that thought which makes you try to refine yourself!!!
Having said all these...every night we die to be reborn into a new life, will my tomorrow be a different life, a life devoid of all these negativities that I am carrying with me...I have to be specific here, just my indulgences, my expressions, my thoughts, my actions...